For most of my life I always had a problem saying yes. YES to things I really didn’t wanna do. Things I was guilted into doing!
So during my own healing, I was learning to say No. No to things I did NOT wanna do. How did this work for me?
Well I still felt guilty! I felt guilty that I didn’t do. I felt guilty because I said No. I felt guilty that I was a really shitty person for not being guilted into doing it in the first place!
So what gives? What is the “right” thing to do? I feel guilty when I do something I don’t wanna do. I feel guilty if I say No I don’t wanna do it….What’s wrong with this picture??
Recently, I made a single small change that has helped me to overcome my fear & guilt of saying NO, which allowed me to get more out of life. After months of soul searching, I realized we just might be YES people. NO just carry’s SO much guilt. Whether we do it & are pissed off or resent that fact we got guilted into it or because we just said no off the bat thinking we could avoid the guilt. The guilt is STILL there!
So my new tactic is just saying YES. YES to what I really want! YES to NOT doing what I really don’t. Sounds crazy? Hang on….
If someone is guilting me into doing something I DON’T wanna do, I think of the reason why I don’t wanna do it…Like I HAVE NO TIME. So I say yes to my time in replace to the NO to them.
I learned that saying yes just means I accept the facts, it DOESN’T mean I accept what someone is guilting me into. When you say “YES I can do that I just can’t do it RIGHT NOW”, there’s NO guilt attached. It amazing how a simple shift makes the world of a difference!
When I tested this tactic on myself, I started saying NO & felt really shitty. You can feel the frequency of NO. When I changed it to YES, it was a totally different frequency! I still am NOT doing what I don’t wanna do, I’m just saying YES to MY needs first. Most of the time when people ask something of you, usually a pressing issue only “big” to them (not like it’s life threatening) When you really look at it, they don’t really need you to do what they want right away, it’s more of just a control issue.
Saying YES when NO seems Easier opens up a world of experiences….
Experience something new or different… New experiences and people can be difficult for those who don’t love change, the more you open yourself up to the idea of saying YES the more you’ll start to see that new experiences are actually quite fun. Saying YES doesn’t always lead to new or exciting things, but it can! Remember you are saying YES to your needs!
Get outside your comfort zones… As much as you might love your comfort zone, venturing outside of it can do a lot of good. It keeps you mentally sharp, teaches you new life lessons, and introduces you to new things. If you struggle when it comes to pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, remember that saying YES is a good way to get started!
Overcome fear and insecurity… Part of the reason we say “no” is because we’re scared. We’re scared of new people or new experiences. We don’t want to break from our routines or try something new for fear that we won’t enjoy it or we’ll look silly doing it. But the more you say “yes,” the more you’ll face those fears and insecurities head-on!
Find unexpected opportunities…You don’t realize how powerful YES can be when it comes to finding unexpected opportunities. Of course, not every YES will lead to something wonderful and unexpected, but you never know what you might find if you start saying YES instead of saying no. Unexpected opportunities don’t always just drop into your lap, sometimes you have to go find them!
We all have dreams, but most of us make excuses for not pursuing them. Often these excuses are just fear. You can break out of your comfort zone to get more out of life through the simple power of YES.
Are you willing to try saying YES for just one week? Let me know how your life has changed just by saying YES.
Remember say YES to YOU!
Love & Light,